我,一个狂想,充满深渊的魅力
偶然被你诞生。泥土和天空
二者合一,你把我叫作女人
并强化了我的身体
我是软得像水的白色羽毛体
你把我捧在手上,我就容纳这个世界
穿着肉体凡胎,在阳光下
我是如此眩目,使你难以置信
我是最温柔最懂事的女人
看穿一切却愿分担一切
渴望一个冬天,一个巨大的黑夜
以心为界,我想握住你的手
但在你的面前我的姿态就是一种惨败
当你走时,我的痛苦
要把我的心从口中呕出
用爱杀死你,这是谁的禁忌?
太阳为全世界升起!我只为了你
以最仇恨的柔情蜜意贯注你全身
从脚至顶,我有我的方式
一片呼救声,灵魂也能伸出手?
大海作为我的血液就能把我
高举到落日脚下,有谁记得我?
但我所记得的,绝不仅仅是一生
I am a wild thought, born of the abyss
and—only incidentally—of you. The earth and sky
combine in me—their concubine—they consolidate in my body.
I am an ordinary embryo, encased in pale, watery flesh,
and yet in the sunlight I dazzle and amaze you.
I am the gentlest, the most understanding of women.
Yet I long for winter, the interminable black night, drawn out to my heart's bleakest limit.
When you leave, my pain makes me want to vomit my heart up through my mouth—
to destroy you through love—where's the taboo in that?
The sun rises for the rest of the world, but only for you do I focus the hostile tenderness of my body.
I have my ways.
A chorus of cries rises. The sea screams in my blood but who remembers me?
What is life?
Zhai Yongming is a contemporary Chinese poet, born in Chengdu in 1955. She was one of the instigators and prime movers of the “Black Tornado” of women’s poetry that swept China in 1986-1989. Since then Zhai has been regarded as one of China’s most prominent poets.
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