A Poem of Indignation
- Poetry of Cai Wenji

汉季失权柄，董卓乱天常，志欲图篡弑，先害诸贤良。逼迫迁旧邦，拥主以自彊。海内兴义师，欲共讨不祥。卓众来东下，金甲耀日光。平土人脆弱，来兵皆胡羌。猎野围城邑，所向悉破亡。斩截无孑遗，尸骸相撑拒。马边悬男头，马后载妇女。长驱西入关，迥路险且阻。还顾邈冥冥，肝脾为烂腐。所略有万计，不得令屯聚。或有骨肉俱，欲言不敢语。失意几微间，辄言毙降虏：“要当以亭刃，我曹不活汝！”岂敢惜性命？不堪其詈骂。或便加棰杖，毒痛参并下。旦则号泣行，夜则悲吟坐。欲死不能得，欲生无一可。彼苍者何辜，乃遭此厄祸？

边荒与华异，人俗少义理。处所多霜雪，胡风春夏起。翩翩吹我衣，肃肃入我耳。感时念父母，哀叹无终已。

有客从外来，闻之常欢喜。迎问其消息，辄复非乡里。邂逅徼时愿，骨肉来迎己。己得自解免，当复弃儿子。天属缀人心，念别无会期。存亡永乖隔，不忍与之辞。儿前抱我颈，问母欲何之？“人言母当去，岂复有还时？阿母常仁恻，今何更不慈？我尚未成人，奈何不顾思？”见此崩五内，恍惚生狂痴。号泣手抚摩，当发复回疑。

兼有同时辈，相送告离别。慕我独得归，哀叫声摧裂。马为立踟蹰，车为不转辙。观者皆歔欷，行路亦呜咽。

去去割情恋，遄征日遐迈。悠悠三千里，何时复交会？念我出腹子，胸臆为摧败。既至家人尽，又复无中外。城郭为山林，庭宇生荆艾。白骨不知谁，纵横莫覆盖。出门无人声，豺狼号且吠。茕茕对孤景，怛吒诧靡肝肺。登高远眺望，神魂忽飞逝，奄若寿命尽。旁人相宽大，为复彊视息，虽生何聊赖？

托命于新人，竭心自勖励。流离成鄙贱，常恐复捐废。人生几何时，怀忧终年岁！

When the House of Han had lost its sway,

Dong Zhuo compelled the king to obey.

With a clear intent to seize the throne,

He hated the good and wise men to the bone.

He forced the king to move toward the west 

And chose another king at his behest.

Rebellious armies met to make a plan 

And fought against Dong Zhuo the vicious man.

When Dong Zhuo's troops came east and war began,

Their metal armours glittered in the sun.

The soldiers from the plains were weak enough 

While Dong had all those Tartars tough and rough.

In battles in the fields or on town wall,

Dong's troops were strong and conquered all.

They captured women and slaughtered men,

And left dead bodies heaped up in the den.

They carried heads of men beside their horses;

They carried women back behind their horses.

We women went along toward the west,

Going through the hardships with no rest.

When we looked back on the distant land,

Our miseries were hard to understand.

Ten thousand captured women under tether 

Were not allowed to live or stay together 

When we met our children in the hut,

We were compelled to keep our mouths tight shut.

If we made a single slight mistake,

Our captors said,"We'll kill you.You just wait!

If we are angry,we shall use our knives 

And will not hesitate to take your lives."

Those who could not bear to hold their breath 

Would be caught and put to instant death.

Sometimes,we would be caned and whipped;

Our pain and hatred had to be both sipped.

By day we trudged along in sobs and tears;

At night we sat awake in grief and fears.

To die a rapid death,there was no rope;

To live a decent life,there was no hope.

Oh,gracious heaven,what have we done 

That we deserve a fate like this wretched one?

The border areas,unlike the central plains,

Were full of vulgar people who lacked brains.

Frost and snowfall covered all the ground;

Violent winds were blowing all year round.

Day by day,the wind would blow my coats;

Night by night,the wind would breathe sad notes.

My parents lingered always on my mind;

And grievous thoughts no escape would find.

When I heard of someone from afar,

I would regard him as a lucky.star.

When I asked him about my native place,

That he knew nothing would oft be the case.

As luck would have it,my nightmare was past:

Envoys came to bring me home at last.

Although I rid myself of troubled mind,

I had to go and leave my sons behind.

My flesh and blood were linked unto my heart;

I knew that we'd be always kept apart.

Alive or dead,I'd never see my sons;

Hardly could I leave my beloved ones.

My two sons came up,leaned against my bosom 

And asked,"Where are you going,Mum?

People say that you cannot remain;

Do you think you will come back again?

Mum,you're always kind and soft to us;

Why are you now not behaving thus?

We brothers have not come to age as yet,

Is it really true that you forget!"

These few words seemed to tear my heart;

In a trance,my mind seemed torn apart.

I sobbed and wept and felt my sons,

And could not leave my beloved ones.

My woeful sisters came toward the cart;

They came to me as I would soon depart.

They envied me because I could return;

Their howls and cries caused my heart to burn 

My horses paused and lingered at this sight;

My carriage stopped and tarried on the site.

The on-lookers were moved to tears on the spot;

The passers-by all wept o'er their sad lot.

Although my sons were lingering in my mind,

My homeward drive had left them far behind.

Three thousand miles was a long way;

When on earth would be reunion day?

Thought of my dear sons would never cease;

My heart would never rest in tranquil peace.

All my family members were g gone forever,

With no distant relatives whatsoever.

The city site was overgrown with reeds;

The courts and yards were rampant with weeds.

Arid bones were lying here and there,

Lying crisscross in the wild open air.

Outside my house,I heard no human voice 

But wolves and jackals making mournful noise.

By myself I stood and sat alone,

Nursing all the sorrows of my own.

When I climbed the heights to look afar,

It seemed that I was gazing at the star.

I am about to come to the end of my years;

It is my companion that gives me cheers.

For this alone I shall prolong my life,

But I am living as a worthless wife.

Since I enter into wedlock with my man,

I have tried to please him as I can.

My life has thrown me in a worthless state,

To be deserted some day by my mate.

I do not know how long my life may last,

But I know that grief will ne'er be past.